Once I met one Doctor in some function. She was born in southern part of the town, brought up in the same place, graduated also in the same place, because of that graduation, now she is working in United States. she complained that when she went to India on vacation, always relatives are coming to see her and continuously she could not take rest for even thirty minutes. Some people really proud of relatives visit to see them, but this lady was bit annoyed. Evidently problem might be with this lady, not with relatives. When you are parents are living like that, why cannot you manage for just few days? Where you came from? How come just few years of US life made this much impact? Then on what face we can pass comments about western culture?
When I was working in Mumbai, one of my ex colleague, from US came to India on vacation forced all of his friends to come for evening party, including me. We felt it was bit difficult to make out during week days. We have to commute in three different modes to reach the destination, and then we conveyed that some time later we could go for it. He insisted much, so we kept our inconvenience aside and went to the restaurant which is located in Mumbai central. Finally bill came, obviously this is one of the most unwanted item in any restaurant. Bill amount was around three thousand rupees. We were totally ten people. Whom we think, he is hosting the party, that gentleman put his share of three hundred rupees. It was shocking to all of us. We never knew this kind of party and more over it is not part of Indian party culture. Then it happened to convey that you should have told us in advance, we would not have taken this much trouble to come here to give our share and convinced him to pay the full amount. During dot.com burst, he came back to India. Everyone started running away from him. Certainly he is not going to lose anything out of it, but this is such a unpleasant feeling, being ignored by everyone is very painful. In United States, cost of living is very high, so they used to pay their part of bill. In our native place, I am not seeing any good reason to adapt the same style in India.
Another example is love marriage. When they fall in love, they never see any difference. Mom and dad never come to their mind. After marriage, they see nothing but difference. Love will be pushed to back seat; difference of opinion will occupy the front seat. If difference popped up, only attorneys will be benefited out of this. They never think about their kids life also, is it selfishness or ignorance?, let it be anything, but really shameful.
Another scary factor is jealousness. Apparently they used to move well with you, but they will jealous of your growth. This is forcing so many people to maintain a status level. As long as you are in lower band, really they shower lot of affection on you, moment you start growing, they cannot digest. No one is hindering you to grow, so instead of getting jealous of them, it is nice to appreciate their hard work and congratulate their success.
No harm in behaving in your natural manner, infact that is your identity. Generally try to be pleasant with everyone. What are you going to lose from your wallet? Try to pay complete attention for their concerns and grievances, don’t be just attentive to your topic of interest. Take some time to do self analysis to quantify your nature, how many times others invited you just for your presence and how many times you invited them just for their presence. Certainly it gives some idea where you are standing.
Most of the time, we used to have some nameless inhibition, like, how to talk to them and how to go to their house. Just call them up and tell them, I am coming to your house or invite them to your house. Talk to them and have fun. Someone of you, have to take the axe to break the ice berg, right? You must have the confidence that you are good and trustworthy, that itself a nice feeling. When we develop the habit of being nice to everyone, you never be a burden to anyone.