Sunday, November 22, 2009


Still I could remember, when I was young, all the time guests used to be there in our house. We never had our food alone. At that time there was neither cell phones nor emails, why we need to go that far? Even there was no telephone facility also. Suddenly huge crowd come home exactly at lunch time or dinner time. Immediately mom used to rush to kitchen and provide them hot food. In so many of our houses, you would have witnessed this scene. There is no doubt, hospitality is part of our tradition but unfortunately ladies spent half of their life time in kitchen only. Around 1980s only, in house pressure cooker, blender, gas stove and other kitchen appliances got into use. Till that time life was extremely difficult for ladies in kitchen, needless to say, no ladies get help from their life partner. In one of the lecture, one respectable software professional said, now a day’s ladies became so lazy after they started using lot of kitchen appliances, but he never realized that, he is working on Microsoft and not working with bulls to do agriculture.

30 years back, my mom and other ladies, really sacrificed lot, not like ladies of year 2000. This is very gradual transition; it is not over night change. For example, 1980s, you would have seen, even unknown person comes to your house and knocks the door, we used to ask him to come inside and enquire in detail. After ten years, trend was bit changed, the door would be kept half open, host used to stand at the entrance, slowly they developed that art of talking to others without letting them in. Now without informing them in advance, no doors will be opened. Security also one of the primary concern for this.

Despite gradual transition, there is a huge drift between first case and second case. Generally there is lot of aversion developed over relatives and guests. Inviting people became so formal and became painful act. Hospitality became one of the service industry businesses. In our childhood, really we enjoyed the presence of relatives and guests in our house, but now even kids also like to play alone and in need of some privacy.

The root cause for this problem is everyone’s materialistic approach and selfishness. Showing love in artificial manner, but they have to understand, it never lasts long. One can act for a day or two, certainly not throughout the life. Most of the people, when they are in your house, they talk so nice, in other way round, they will make you feel, is he/she the same person that you met them in your house. We cannot blame any individual for this. It was generally misused by huge section of people, just for their stay and temporary need, they behave so nice, though you are not much important to them.

Lot of people used to comment, “I hate in laws”, what nonsense is this? Are they cat or are you rat? What kind of inhibition is this? It is very ridiculous. So many parents want their child to live in abroad to get away from domestic issues and in laws. Without in laws, from where you got your husband or wife? Needless to say, girls are forerunner in this. All the way, they go back to their country but they hate to stay in their in laws house and with their in laws, but they want only one thing from what they called horrible place, i.e their husband. They never knew, they are creating similar environment in their house, obviously they will also receive the same treatment from their kids also. First you start to hate in-laws, after some time, unwanted list grows with life partner, kids, come on, finally what you left with, and just left with anti depression tablets only.

Till 2005, in abroad, everyone was relying on expensive calling cards to call parents and in laws, but now gtalk, Vonage, yahoo and skype, cost effectively shrunk the world, really did it shrink the distance between hearts? No one is sure, what a pity! If one can explain their concern or mental stress, half of the problem will be solved, then just you have to solve remaining half only. Now communication medium never be a constraint. Communication tools are open to everyone, so we only need to keep our hearts open.


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